Reflection

By Constance Tan

Constance Tan is an alumna of Anglo-Chinese Junior College’s Class of 2019. In the following piece, Constance shares her artistic vision for her Merit Award poem, Reflections, for the 2019 National Poetry Competition in response to the theme Metamorphosis.

Reflection

/rɪˈflekʃ(ə)n/

Noun

This picture perfect moment we hope will last for eternity, for a lifetime, for forever. So we smile for the camera, not knowing it was a video. So we plaster a smile on our faces just like an advertisement for toothpaste. The ache in our cheeks from smiling and laughing all day, not realising that the joke is on us until a week later. No matter what, etched in our hearts will forever be a friendship, a friendship we will never want to forget. So we document the moments of triumph, glory, and mindless musings. Pictures, frozen in time, memories of the distant past of our young and naive minds.

An umbrella table shelters the world from our giant footsteps. We stand proudly in the middle of the universe as we brace ourselves for multiple choice questions with no right answer given. We ready ourselves as we write our narratives, our biographies -- not just another work of fiction. With our eyes looking above the horizon, we see ourselves in the shimmers of the water: a thousand broken diamonds reflecting sun rays.

Diamonds are strong and hard. Carbon atoms share strong covalent bonds in diamond and form a tetrahedral structure. And we form an agency. Nobody can destroy us so long as we have one another. We all grow, we all change, we all mature, but no force of science or nature will ever break us apart. Even as the stars realign, I know the spark in our eyes will only dim, but never fade, just like the lamp posts leading us home.

(Insert response here)

Artistic Vision

Metamorphosis and reflection are two different ideas; however, they cannot be separated and be viewed in isolation. Metamorphosis denotes a change in form whereas reflection suggests contemplative thought. It is only when one engages in reflection that the process or result of growth and change are made prominent. Only then, one is able to see how far they have come, how much they have grown, and how much they have changed. Thus, it is the interplay of metamorphosis and reflection that offers us a personal and intimate understanding of ourselves that encapsulates and puts our experiences into perspective.

Hence, my response to the theme Metamorphosis is grounded on the notion of reflection. The process of change is always in motion, and as a result, there can never be a single definite moment of metamorphosis. Prompted by the idea of change, multiple moments come to my mind upon reflection. I decided to capture these key moments, thoughts of the various aspects of change in the form of a dictionary. Just like how a dictionary defines words, I seek to explore the meaning of metamorphosis and change.

To think of change or growth, there is a need to think back to the past. The past is not just a series of events that we went through, but rather, memories we will look back to fondly. Despite all the changes we may encounter, I would like to propose that our relationships with others will continue to grow and blossom if the connections forged are strong and lasting.

I aim to evoke feelings of nostalgia in the readers. To achieve that, I tapped on my own emotional bank in the true spirit of reflection, and shared my story and experience. The visual image presented in the line ‘so we smile for the camera, not knowing it was a video’ is simple yet poignant. Here, the ‘video’ captures stagnant stillness rather than motion, movement and life. There is so much effort put into capturing a picture with the hope of immortalising the past, but we sometimes forget to live in the moment not for the ‘camera’. These ‘pictures’ are monuments of the past and a reminder of happier times which we all hope will last.

However, nothing will stay the same forever, and this is a painful reality that we need to accept. Change is omnipresent and there is no definite end to it. Grim as it may sound, we need to believe that ‘the spark in our eyes will dim, but never fade’. As time passes, we will be confronted with a future laced with change and uncertainty, and this requires us to constantly shift and adapt to our current reality. Yet, throughout such phases of change, we must not lose sight of our past and our identities. It is our past that will guide our perception of the present and subsequently, influence our decisions. After all, life is a series of ‘multiple choice questions with no right answer given’.

I employed the metaphor of a diamond because of its rich thematic significance. The brilliance and glow of a diamond is a result of the reflection of light rays, which ties in with my theme of reflections. Beyond its exterior radiance, what fascinates me more is the interior atomic structure. Here, I want to establish a parallel between carbon atoms and human connection. In spite of all the changes we may encounter, we can still form strong and meaningful connections with others just like the strength of the carbon atoms sharing covalent bonds. It is the interplay of the interior structure and exterior appearance of a diamond that captures the essence of metamorphosis and reflection. We are always in a state of change, and to extend on the metaphor, all our experiences are captured on the facets of a diamond. As we continue to grow, we need to remember who we are on the inside as well as the connections we forged with others. When we are able to find this harmony of reflection, we will understand ourselves better, allowing us to navigate through life this new found wisdom.

We need to remember that our lives are not just another work of fiction. Yes, my poem may be classified as fiction, but this is the culmination of my reflection and thoughts on metamorphosis. Embedded between the words, there is authenticity and veracity in what I have penned down and carefully crafted into this work of poetry. Writing is a communication between the writer and the reader, and it is the response of the reader that will make any piece of writing come alive.

Metamorphosis is not the end, but rather the start of a new adventure. It is an unending process with blank spaces awaiting to be filled. Thus, I invite you, the reader, to continue writing the pages of your story and reflect on your journey of metamorphosis. And remember to ‘insert your response’ and see how far you have grown.